THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl Piper Malone Porter is painfully plain. She thinks she’s special because she used her deceptive makeup skills to become internet famous. She’s a butterface. Her face is huge and round and her nose is atrocious. She doesn’t ever stop posting about her ugly boyfriend. Apparently she never got attention from a guy before. They just boring nobodies, and thanks to social media think they are some kind of celebrity couple. Anyway, she is also a two faced skeez and hangs out with Riff Raff groupie Angela Jean. I met Piper at a while back and she was all over me even though I told her I had a girlfriend. She wouldn’t stop asking for my number so I gave her my homies as a joke. Later that night she drunkenly sends him this photo of her lopsided boobs. Sorry Chad, I think you need to check your b*tch. Piper, maybe try to fix your face then try again.
I wonder what is in her hand. I think it’s _______.- nik