UC Berkeley’s Baboon

July 8, 2014 Berkeley, San Francisco 67

 

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, please expose this stank busted looking scum bucket named Crystal Noel She goes to UC Berkeley and she is the definition of ugly. She is every stereotype for females in the scientific field. This ugly bad bodied hag. I hate people who think because they have some certificate from a subpar university that they are really doing something. The job you will be getting is not going to pay that mountain of debt that you piled up! She will end up single and alone,like she is now. She has the most disgusting attitude. I cant stand seeing her face on campus. Even professors are annoyed from her.She is shaped like a lumpy potato bag,her breath is pungent like funky socks, her face is covered in all types of acne,blackheads,whiteheads lumps and bumps! She looks like SID from the movie “Ice Age”. Someone needs to ground this obnoxious hag! Nik,please do the honors



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Seriously How Does Alexandria Stay On The Gold Rush

December 12, 2013 Berkeley, Dirty Cheerleaders, San Francisco, The Dirty 131

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, the evidence speaks for itself, shes only there because of the NHRA.

You got to hate the politics involved in professional cheerleading. It ruins the calendars.- nik



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Cheater And A Liar

November 14, 2013 Berkeley, Dirty Army Strong, Hollywood 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is David Golshan.  He is a cheater he played me with many wh*res and he is f*cking all these girls paying them for sex.  Put this douchebag on blast.

Nice dance moves.- nik



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Danielle Lo Is Finding Richer Fish

November 11, 2013 Berkeley, Huntington Beach, The Dirty 99

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, Danielle Lo continues her innocence by playing the owner of The Chive for internet fandom… jumping from 8,000 followers to 30,000 on instagram. Shes finally moving up from escorting to bigger fish. She bragged about doing Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum while out using John from The Chive to travel and meet bigger fish.

Why are all these internet guys into Asian chicks? “Mind the Gap” is so original. Pure genius on John’s part.- nik



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Comedy Central Comedian Takes Casino Hostage

September 26, 2013 Berkeley, Hollywood, Scottsdale, The Dirty 15

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this is Lisa Landry, a Comedy Central comedian who basically held a casino in Arizona hostage. Money was sent to her agent which landed there a day before the show. However, Lisa was unaware that the money had arrived. When she got to the casino she refused to go on stage unless she was paid first. The casino had no choice but to cough up extra money to Lisa Landry. There were 500 people waiting for a show.

Who the hell is Lisa Landry?- nik



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Treslyn Lacunt

September 16, 2013 Berkeley, Vancouver 2

THE DIRTY ARMY: Treslyn LeComet I had the hugest crush on her in high school, that all changed after we had intercourse, and my fingers got stuck in her pubic hair, smelled like sour milk, rotting fish, and i got a yeast infection. I don’t think there’s a word to describe how disgusting she is. It’s bad i cringe at the thought of this nasty skunt. Please put this bitchs sheit on blast. She blew her ex boyfriend ( my best friend ) in a McDonald’s handicapped washroom…… then threw up everywhere. I pity the fuker dating her now… poor man.

You’d think she could handle a mouthful…- nik



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Loopy Eye Merc

August 20, 2013 Berkeley, Hamilton 59

THE DIRTY ARMY: She’s all about the “fast life”. Mercedes samotulka, is one of the dirtiest girls I know! The girl just turned 18 and her kill count is more then I have fingers and toes. She claims that she “models” on cars….news flash, sticking your nasty ass up on a car doesn’t make you a model my dear. Not to mention the crazy googley eye that has a mind of its own and likes to wander around. Lets hope miss car girl finally learns to be classy instead of trashy!

Handing out flyers isn’t modeling…- nik



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Sarah Mankatala

May 21, 2013 Berkeley, Vancouver 31

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik man, this girl will not leave me alone. I regret ever giving her my digits, because I thought I made it clear in convo I wasn’t interested, and she seemed like a nice girl. Not crazy just nice. F&ck my life was I wrong, this thirsty b&tch will tell anyone that will listen how we are going to end up together, I hope you read this Sarah because ain’t sh*t going to happen between us. Im at least a strong 8 and you’re still stuck in the negatives. My buddies told me to use and abuse this thirsty b&tch (her family has some cash, not lavish multi millionaires but enough) BUT f*ckkk that, I would rather suck a bleeding  infected d&ck before I try to mount this beast. Plus I hear her family is f*cking messed up. Some incest or something, some cousins banging each other, her sisters husband banged his wifes cousin, some weird paki sh*t that the whole family knows about. On a scale of -10 to 0 how would you rate this gremlin.

Posing in a washroom is a sign of trash.  Speaking of which, she managed to squeeze one in the shot.- nik



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