Drake | Nik Richie + Dirty Army intel, opinions, gossip, satire, and celebrities

Injustice In Iowa

September 11, 2013 Drake, Iowa, The Dirty 141

THE DIRTY ARMY: Well Nik, I have silently watched your website explode with traffic over the past few years and need an outlet along with some advice. Here is my situation. My boyfriend and I were pulled over for traffic violation which resulted in Patrick’s arrest. Pat was arrested and charged with a class D Felony on 2nd degree theft for an incident that occurred at Shoppers in Ankeny, Iowa on May 25th, on a day Pat and I were certainly in South Dakota. We have bank statments that show he deposited his check at the ATM here in our town (in SOUTH DAKOTA) we also rented videos that day, and the following morning were at the local gas station. (all on record of his debit card) I have also done my own investigating, and have done more in the past 3 days than Detective Gustar has in 3 months. (William Gasbar? He wouldnt spell his name slow enough so I could understand it before he rudely transferred me and stated if I wanted to speak to him, I can do so in court and better get a lawyer.) This detective has lied and harassed my family along with not properly doing his job as an investigator. I have found 3 other suspects 1 of which looks like Patrick and was just released on second degree theft for an event that occurred 2 weeks after the initial incident. I have called every connection/person/lawyer, and have been told over and over again with out a grand down to start, they do not even care to listen. Unfortunately, it has cost us close to a grand already and we are running out of funds. I am not asking for charity, but more so, I am asking for this status to somehow make it in the hands of someone who wants the justice system to serve its purpose. Pat sat in jail for 20 hours without a clue as to why he was there. He has missed work, lost sleep, and has not been able to eat since his release. (Understandable) I have no idea what else to do, except to bring awareness to the situation and the injustice that is currently going on. Our system is broken; you can do anything with money but if you are like the majority of Americans, sh*t out of luck without it. We do not qualify for legal aid, he made too much money last year. Sadly, that’s barley enough money to afford our bills. Since the charge is in Iowa, but we are residents of South Dakota, it is out of local law schools jurisdiction. There are other things that I cant publicly address at the moment, but I am out of resources to figure this out on my own. No it is not a “case closed” with our evidence. Sadly we need video of the ATM which we cant get without a subpena, which requires a lawyer. He has also already been charged, so unless a lawyer files to drop the case to the DA, we will be going to court. I have a little girl who this is going to effect, we may even have to pull her out of her first year of pre-school due to funds.

Are there any DIRTY ARMY lawyers in Iowa who can help this couple… their child’s future depends on it!- nik

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Sev = Sloot

July 7, 2011 Drake, Toronto 13

sev = whore

sev = whore

THE DIRTY ARMY: nik! this whoreish human being bangs all the girls he can. He is everywhere and everyone knows him some how. Ladies watch out for him he is very charming and seductive but dont fall for his lines! SEV IS A WHORE!

Those capris make me think he’s forgy.- nik

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September 24, 2010 Charlotte, Drake 18


THE DIRTY ARMY: so Nik his name is patrick who thinks his a spic mean while his some dirty polish tbagger flaunts his parents business rides old merz benz thinking its the shit … hooks up with dirty sluts like tiffany glow sticks ex gf… umm yeah ….also thinks his the shit n gets p*ssy easy right from 15 year old girl (witch is a fact ) n used online dating( what for if u get ass like that ) used to be on droid thats why his not so big anymore … has a paranoia from being in the marine so his all f*cked up in the head …carries knifs on him to go to the bathroom to go bee thinking somone might attack WTF!

Only special people don’t know that you need a collar to pop your collar.- nik

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For The Gays?

April 29, 2009 BYU, Drake, Utah, Utah State 3


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik that f*g in the affliction shirt is Rich…This guy is always pulling some gay stunt and makes a fool of himself and the guys he is with.  Nik dont you hate it when guys try and prove they are not gay but fail miserably, well thats rich for you.

Isn’t this the new Audigay commercial layout?- nik

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Douche Alert

April 21, 2009 Drake, University Of Idaho 5


THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik this douche bag is Sean…He will sleep with any girls he possibly can so he can increase the number of girls he has slept with.  He is mean and will use and abuse you and then forget about you the next day.  He talks to girls who are still in highschool and thinks that its ok even if they are not even 18.

Jersey called, they need you back.- nik

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Ghoul Watching

April 17, 2009 Drake 2

Ghoul Watching

THE DIRTY ARMY: Real live Drake University specimen who is dating a friend. Been trying to tell him to get out before its too late.

I’m doubting that she is alive because she is so pale, and her flapjacks are repulsive.- nik

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April 15, 2009 Drake 3


THE DIRTY ARMY: Yo Nik, What do you think of them??

All I see are a bunch of shims.- nik

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The Human Cheeto

April 8, 2009 Drake, Human Cheeto, The Dirty 43


THE DIRTY ARMY: So Human Cheeto Lives in Boise, Idaho. She works at hooters. Her tan is as fake as her hair. Her name is Jacquelyn. She moves through guys as fast as she does tanning lotion. I personally think she is just looking for her babies daddy. Yes, this orange-tastic thing reproduced. i wonder if her baby will have a spray tan for her first day of school?

Human Cheeto please read the comments… people are saying you are Orange for a reason.  It is time for change.- nik

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