THE DIRTY ARMY: ***From a local musician: THIEF REPORT! A little over a year ago, Malena (girlfriend) accidentally left a load of clothes in our laundry room, here at Jefferson Estates. That load of laundry consisted of a few pairs of Levis, her “Free Eli” shirt, her Harptallica shirt, her underwear, plus some other of her favorite clothes, including her Greedy Mistress t-shirt that the Italian band personally gave her after I booked their last tour of the US and they stayed with us for a few days. She was very proud of that shirt. All in all, probably at least $200 worth of clothes. When she realized that she had forgotten to get the laundry out of the dryer, she went back to the laundry room and all the clothes were gone. She instantly went into the office and asked our landlord if they had taken the clothes out. They had no idea what she was talking about. So she just made a report with them and came back to the apartment, crying and very upset, knowing that the clothes had been stolen. She spent quite a few days feeling violated by some unknown person. As would anyone. Over a year passes. UPDATE! Tonight, we were at the punk rock show at Wander Inn. All of a sudden I see this girl wearing a Greedy Mistress shirt. I was like, Hey, those are my friends! I went across the room and asked this girl “where did you see Greedy Mistress at? I booked their tour of the US!” I wasn’t even thinking about Malena’s stolen clothes at all. Actually, I had completely forgotten about the whole deal. This girl then says, “oh, I didn’t see them anywhere. I actually stole it from the laundry room at the apartment complex I live at.” WTF? My brain started to click. I then asked “where do you live?” She replies, “Jefferson Estates”. BOOM! Mystery solved! I then realize that this is the person that stole all of Malena’s clothes, and in true Bill Finn fashion, I call her out on it. “Guess what? You stole my girlfriend’s clothes.” She replies, “I only took one shirt.” Not, “I’m sorry”, or any remorse at all. Yeah, right. “I only took it because I was having an affair with a married man at the time, and I thought it would be funny to wear.” Yes, stealing from hard working people is so funny. If I were to actually believe that she only took one shirt, then I would have to believe that she actually thought it was ok to open a dryer in a private laundry room and go through the clothes one-by-one to pick out what she wants to steal. Bull shit. What I know she did was put all of the clothes in a basket, take them home, sort through what she wanted and got rid of the rest. maybe to friends, Plato’s Closet, or the dumpster. Then she walks out the door as if it was no big deal (or knew that shit was about to get real creepy for her). Malena follows her outside and tells her that she wants her shirt back, and she takes it off and gives it to her, and tells her “I just lost enough weight to finally wear it”. Never believe a thief. NEVER. So, I come home and find out that this thief is actually on my friends list, as well as mutual friends with a lot of people I know (some of you are even tagged in this thread. Prepare yourselves for mass replies.) So, I go to her photos section, and the shirt that she says that she could never wear, is actually being worn by her in this very photo (below). The photo was taken in February of 2013 (proof in other photo below). So, there’s another lie. We’ve got a pattern here. Lie #1: “I only took one shirt.” Lie #2: “This was the first time I ever wore the shirt. I just lost 14 pounds and could finally fit into it.” So, let it be known, Corky Justcorky (a.k.a. Linda Lane) is a thief and liar that will steal from her neighbors, and will probably steal from you, and then lie to your face about it. Tomorrow I will report her to my landlord, and show them these photos, as well as the shitty text she sent me after she left the bar calling me “Bitch mother fu(ker! F*CKYOUU”, and admits to stealing the shirt she was caught wearing tonight. BEWARE! This girl is a THIEF and a LIAR!