Beware of Psycho Milf

August 14, 2014 Madison, South Dakota, Wisconsin 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, meet Lisa Kainz from Madison. Her husband works in South Dakota and when he is at work she hooks up with all these guys half her age. She spends all her husband’s money on anyone in their 20s with a dick. She buys whatever they want; cell phones, clothes, jewelry, drugs, weekend trips and motorcycles. She let’s guys stay at her house for a few days, then she kicks them out so she can move on to the next young Dick. She uses mth everyday and ecxtasy often so she can keep up with these guys and she will get them high so they will sleep with her. She will go completely Psycho when these guys are with other girls. She completely lost her shit and sent over 100 texts and calls in about an hour because she knew one of these guys was with (name removed). She thinks she can buy your boyfriend and control your relationship. Stay away from this Psycho.



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I Found One For You

July 16, 2014 Minneapolis, Wisconsin 2

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Shannon. I think that you’ll agree that this is your brunette for 2014. Shannon is a real woman, one who knows how to put down several meals in one sitting and still has room left for dessert. She’s got the body of a goddess, complete with 6, repeat SIX huge, jiggling breasts. Who needs +2s when you’re this uniquely endowed? Be jealous ladies. Thigh gap? Hell NO, Shannon is bringing in the era of Himalaya thighs, thighs so lumped out with fat they resemble a mountain range. She is resplendent with cheap jailhouse tattoos, has a smile above any dentist’s worst nightmares, and she knows damn well that she is one sexy BEAST. So Nik, now that you know that your perfect woman does indeed exist, there will be no need for anymore brunette submissions as Shannon holds the crown, hands down. In all seriousness though Nik, I came across this stunner on a mutual friends’ Facebook status and my jaw just dropped. There is no excuse for a person to look like this. With all the medical marvels today, this is unacceptable. Someone PLEASE pay for this “Where The Wild Things Are” star to get some lipo or something. I\’m living in fear now, afraid that I\’m going to run her in person some day. She might try to eat me. Although I suppose the chances are low as by her own admission, “fat girls taste better” and I do’t quite fit her uniquely developed tastes.



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Madison Ohio’s Chris burr

May 15, 2014 Madison, Wisconsin 1

THE DIRTY ARMY: DIRTY CHRIS BURR: Nik this skank ass hoe who thinks that she is hot with her ridiculously over the top slutty outfits baring her stretch marked pudgy failure of a stomach keeps on trying to break up happy homes with her slutty ass way’s. This all started at work with her pity party stories of how her and her children were mistreated and abused which later on we all found out was just more of Chris the scank’s made up stories to get attention This trailer trash whore sets a great example for her children while she is passed out on the floor from her drinking and extended weekend of “peace love and rave” parties. She will take anyone she can get whether it be boys or girls in a bathtub while they shave her disease filled rotted roast beef blue waffle vagina….and sends said pictures to a married man. Threatening to beat me up if I said anything about her pathetic life of sucking dick to get them to buy her drinks. She went on “The Hookup” like every single weekend after sucking off a tin man and coming off of a binge because she was so desperate for her next fix. I guess thats what happens when your daddy and mommy bail you out of everything all your life! You can find her on a regular basis at dale’s DW3′S saloon in Geneva Ohio on route 534 THIS SHE IS known as skunk twat from the pungent smell coming from her crotch area! CHRIS BURR IS NOTHING MORE THAN A HOME WRECKER!



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Planet Fitness Does It Again

April 30, 2014 Madison, Wisconsin 3

THE DIRTY ARMY: Hey Nik, Planet Fitness and their infamous “Judgement Free Zone” is in the media again for making a pregnant woman feel judged. She was asked to leave because her attire was “inappropriate” and apparently people were offended by her tiny baby bump. This is not the first time Planet Fitness has been in the media, previously asking a woman to leave because she was too toned, and another woman was asked to remove a head scarf she wore for religious reasons(they’re being sued over that one). Maybe this girl was in violation of the dress code, although it’s hard to tell without seeing the average workout crowd there. Seems to me that if her belly was completely flat, it wouldn’t have been the issue it’s turned out to be. At the very least, I think Planet Fitness needs to give their employees a lesson on sensitivity. There are ways to enforce dress codes without making women feel judged, which is the whole idea behind their Judgement Free Zone.

Full article is here: (click here for article)



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Sergant Snaggle-Joseph Gourdoux

April 21, 2014 Milwaukee, Wisconsin 37

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THE DIRTY ARMY: ARMY Sergeant Snaggle-Tooth Douchebag Joseph Gourdoux ladies is a lying cheater!Dated the douche for a few months. He was a real charmer in the beginning but slowly his true colors came to light. Crabby and Mean Mouthed unless he has his brown liquor and a 12 pack in him. Not to mention, he cheated on me and tells me the day we are supposed to be leaving on a trip out of town for some R&R. He is a sex addict, whether he gets the kitty kat or he handles business himself. He has to have sex and get off numerous times a day. He will hump anything with a hole. He also has a toddler with a TON of baby mama drama (ladies she took him to the cleaners in court). So he is broke and looking for a sugar mama to take care of him and his kid plus feed both of them and help pay all his bills for his house. Cheater, Cheater where’d he meet that no good white trash hoe? The man has a lisp, his teeth are jacked up at best, chipped front tooth and the nice 3 pound fang he has hanging over his other teeth. And he is all of 5 foot 8. Little man syndrome. Watch out for Sgt Snaggle-Tooth Douchebag Joseph Gourdoux of Racine, WI ladies!!



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Uneducated Law Enforcer

April 14, 2014 Madison, Wisconsin 2

THE DIRTY ARMY: I recently signed up for an online dating site and came across this halfwit. His profile states he works in law enforcement and claims to be 95% racist. He apparently managed to get a college degree but clearly lacks comprehension as to WHY minorities make up a large part of the current prison population. I’m pretty sure his employer does not concur with his misguided views.



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Ugly New York Tines Writer Bullies Disabled

March 10, 2014 Manhattan, Wisconsin 0

THE DIRTY ARMY: By the way Nik, The Dirty saved my life. I had a nutso chick who was going to get me jumped by bangers in Chicago outside of my school. Police were able to find out stuff about her through the Dirty and realize she wasn’t the victim. And people call you a bad person. Now check this out as far as bad people: As you know Nik, ugly people are mean. I worked at the University of Wisconsin Madison newspaper, The Daily Cardinal, with this guy, Rob Gebeloff. He would come into the office and bully one of the freelance writers who had cerebral palsy. He’s supposed to be some journalist for the downtrodden but we know, Nik, when it comes down to it, no amount of intellectualism will help a bitter non-player get over their fake nerd complex. I’m in a wheelchair myself for MS and hot women are the nicest to me, really good friends. Given that I still love my ex-wife and always will,, Im cool with friends. But hot people feel better about themselves so they aren’t dicks to the helpless. And mainstream journalism should get off it’s high horse. That’s why I sent this.



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Dorian Torres Seems Very Happy He Murdered His Father

March 2, 2014 The Dirty, Wisconsin 40

THE DIRTY ARMY:  Nik, here in Wisconsin, Dorian Torres is charged with murdering his father. His father Emilio is my sister’s Ex-boyfriend. He was the nicest, most gentle man. Emilio dies of a skull fracture from a blunt object. His body was found be wrapped up in a shower curtain duct taped on both ends underneathe a box spring in a bedroom of their apartment.  Dorian was living in the apartment for a whole week with his dead father.  He told his mother that Emilio left for Texas and he left his audi and debit cards for dorian to use but never gave him the pin number.  His mother thought that was odd and never gave him the pin number.  There was a picture posted on a girl’s instagram of Dorian in jail during visitation smiling like crazy. His father is dead and Dorian is charged with murder. How can he be smiling?!

I can’t read that IG handle… anybody know what it is?- nik



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