THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, meet Carla and Amelia AKA the Ulrych sisters. These basic ass bitches were raised by a wealthy family in a suburb overseas, but decided to be wannabe hood rats so their parents disowned them after realizing they had no chance at succeeding in life. You may have been unfortunate enough to see one stripping at a local establishment, but Rachel’s recently did us all a favor by putting Amelia’s fat ass back behind the bar after she gained like 30 lbs (she’s the dumb looking one covering herself with a pink robe cause she looks like a walrus from the neck down). My friend banged her inside Club Ono less than an hour after they met, and had to wash his pipe 3x a day for a week just to lose the stench. That’s apparently what happens when you bang a chick whose stank ass has more cottage cheese than a Wal-Mart Supercenter. She always has a mean mug on her face that makes her look like she has to take a massive shit, but I guess she thinks she’s hard..who can blame her after surviving such a rough childhood in the mean streets of London? I won’t waste too much time on the older one, Carla, since I doubt anybody remembers her anyway (she’s the one who looks like a cracked out Joan Rivers with way too much make up on). She disappeared after getting pregnant again since nobody would sleep with her anymore, but rumor has it the test results would show her fiancé is NOT the father. I hope that’s not true so she doesn’t have an excuse to neglect this baby as bad as her last one. Maury?
Are they incapable of taking sexy selfies? Show some skin ladies… that is the whole point of a selfie.- nik