THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik- I need the rundown of where to go for Memorial Day weekend in Vegas this year. My girlfriends and I are staying at the Cosmopolitan and getting a table there one night. The problem is, one of the girls is a Vegas newbie and will not stop emailing me these stupid links for Vegas deals. Every hour I get another link from her. She even is insisting on going to the Palms because she still thinks Playboy is relevant. We love her- she’s a calendar girl (so all bust and no brains) but she won’t listen to me when I tell her that is not the way to go. She is gonna need to hear it from you Nik. Please lay it out for her and help save my vacation!

Why don’t you just hang out with us on the grass at Wet Republic? Email [email protected] (hot chicks only).- nik

This city loves to hate me more than any other.  I am pumped to drink your wine and sacrifice your women.

Come kick it with me at Lucky Buddha… Get your IMMUNITY!

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, these dirty girls think they run Charlottesville. The noodle mix (april m) thinks she is a model, and that her sh*t don’t stink. She f*cked her best friends boyfriend, and then tried to deny it. Her and her little gang of gremlins like to go to Richmond and DC clubs, and act like they own the place. Asides from the mac forcefield all these b*tches slap on their face every morning, they all wear extensions that came from the dollar tree. So please put these stupid b*tches on blast. with love, charlottesville.

They all look like Jersey chasers to me.- nik

THE DIRTY ARMY: Nik, this girl is a wh*re. i want her to be exposed as the wh*re she is, her name is allie.

She must be hot by Virginia standards.  Personally I don’t see how anyone could get past the awful nose.- nik